Taking The "Ick" Out Of Sick.

I stayed around the house yesterday. Unable to speak and not feeling too well kept me from doing what I usually do. What did I do with my time?

Caught up with some much needed sleep.
Had breakfast with my wife.
Listened to kid stories.
Played video games with the kids.
Walked my daughter to her friend's house.
Watched a movie with the family.
Watched the taped copy of "So you think you can dance" with my wife.
Spent some alone time with my wife.
Wrote a little bit.
Cooled off in the pool.
Kissed everybody good night.

Maybe I should get sick and loose my voice more often.

The Sound Of Forced Silence

If you ever want to know how much you really speak- try not speaking for a little bit. Yesterday I began losing my voice. Every word I said had a price to it. It hurt to speak and it made the volume weaker with each forced syllable. I tried to limit myself, but couldn't help myself. Today I am without a voice.

It'll be interesting to see how many times I try and nothing will come out. But already I have learned one thing that I can take from this experience: I yap too much!

Better Than A Poke With A Stick??

It's fire season. That means that from now, or actually about a month ago, there will be wildfires here in the west. Thousands if not millions of acres will burn, the sky will have the hazy smoke look, and newscasters will do those ridiculous story on location. It's a scene played out every year. I don't understand why?

We just got back from camping. Have you ever tried to start a fire? Have you been in charge of maintaining the fire? You work and work to get the kindling just right, the tender situated just so, and then have to baby this little fire along until it can burn grown-up wood and then...it topples over and goes out.

I can have a fire going for an hour, poke it with a stick a couple of times and it's out! Yet get two kids and a couple of firecrackers and next you'll have hundreds of firefighters, a couple of helicopters, and about a million dollars to put it out. What they should do is just hire me. I'll just poke with a stick a couple of times and it'll be out in no time!

If it's really a big fire, just line up a couple of hungry campers who are desperate for fire for cooking, ask them to maintain it...the fire won't stand a chance!

Back On The Wagon

Normally on Sunday, I would post a scripture for the day. Seeing how I have not written for a while, I thought it might be nice to actually post a real entry today. And since being reminded by my mother yesterday that's it has been a while, I thought today might be even more appropriate as a real good place to restart.

Usually I just start to write. I just choose something I am thinking about and then let the writing do it's own thing. It is something that I really like to do. Sometimes it's ranting, sometimes it's raving. In either case, my true feelings really tend to surface. It keeps me thinking, keeps me balanced, and keeps me from sleeping in too late.

I have always wanted to be a writer of some sort. It has always felt good to write a great story or thought. I have "writings" dating back to 1972 I believe. It's just something I like to do. I think that is why I enjoy speaking as much as I do. I find it exhilarating to write out a speech and then perform it for people. This blog has been fun, helpful, and a great outlet for me. And then life happens.

I had a bunch of projects coming due, I have not been feeling well, and I was feeling pressured to do other things rather then take the time, and it does take time, to write everyday. I started to allow other things to get into the way of my writing. I was allowing other priorities to bump what I felt was a personal priority. Why do we do this?

I don't know exactly why some stay on track with their own ambitions and others don't. And I understand that there are other people involved in our lives that need us as well. There are my priorities and there are others who count on me making them a priority and live is balancing the two of them. But there's the problem, they must be balanced. One is not more important than the other.

Fortunately, all has not been lost. I can pick this blog up at anytime and get back on schedule. And out of sheer good fortune, I have recently been offered a column with a national magazine. Nine issues a year and best of all- it pays. I still have some things that need to be worked out, but it is my job for the taking.

I am, as I said, fortunate that my lack of dedication to this blog did not cause me to miss an opportunity. I do feel had I been more true to writing everyday, my skills would be better polished. I have been working on other projects that have required writing, but nothing beats the daily routine.

One's personal priorities must be addressed. It is part of life, it is a part of success, and it's a part of happiness. Be true to your priorities and if you feel you have let them slip, just pick them back up again.

In The Eyes Of A Child

Summertime is here! Yesterday was my kids’ first day off and it was a beautiful day. They played in the sprinklers most of the day and flat out had a great time. They also watched movies, had snacks, and played video games. Remember how fun it all was?

Unfortunately we are all now adults. Jobs do not take summer vacations of three months. Regular jub duties continue as always. Even people who work at home cannot take three months off. Home offices must continue to produce, home makers must continue their duties, and things like mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, and watering actually increase their time requirements over the summer months.

Wouldn’t it be great to be a kid again and have the opportunity to just take three months off? We cannot. That time is past. However, this summer I think we can all maybe emulate something from the little munchkins: Enjoy the summer!

Summer offers us a lot of fun opportunities. Swimming, outdoor cooking, evening marshmallow roasts, swimming, camping, watching sunsets, watching sunrises, stargazing, playing and watching baseball, picnics, and the list goes on and on. Take the next three months and treat it like the kids do: A unique time of the year to enjoy yourself; play like there’s no school (or job) and no expectations. Make it a time full of fun and memories that you can look back on during the cold months ahead.

Robin Williams Said...

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

"I turned 40 today. I woke up and realized that I was half dead."

The day has arrived. I am 40. I don't really feel any different, but I have been dreading this day for almost a year now. Why? What's the big deal? I didn't know, but something has really been bothering me.

Yesterday I was driving home and the anxiety of "40" hit me again. I knew that on the next morning, I would be realizing I was 40. My mind immediately responded, "Well just don't do it!" The next thought that followed was the over-whelming sense that I had no choice- there was nothing I could do to stop or avoid it. That's when it hit me: regardless of what I do, what I have done, or what I was going to do in the future; I was going to turn 40 on the next day. No matter what!

Why is this so bad? What's the big deal. Everyone has been telling me that the day you turn 40 doesn't feel any different than the day before or the day after. "Don't worry about it.", they say. "It happens to everyone." Well at least to a lot of people.

I think that therein lies my problem. I want it to mean something! I don't want to move into a new decade of my life and there be nothing different. My fear has been that this day will pass and I find that it didn't make a difference.

It has been 40 years since my breaking onto the scene.That was a long time ago. If I make it another 40- that's going to be equally a long time. I have a whole lot of living to do and I think it's time to make my mark, to do my thing. As the Snowman said: "It's time that we introduce them to the old boy." (Smokey and the Bandit)

40 seems to be a great spot to say it's time to be a better husband, time to be a better dad. It's time to be a better employee, a better speaker, and a better person. It's time to really make that relationship with God solid, it's time to read the good book again. It's time to take advantage of all the things I've learned. As Jimmy Buffet sings-"All of the things that I've sung and I've read- they all make sense in time." And of all the things I posses, time spent on this world is the thing of which I have the most.

I was 14 when I went to Alaska. All my stories were fresh in my mind, but they lacked any context in life. At 20 I was in France, still naive and unaware of the worth of my experiences. I was 24 when I got married, but knew nothing of marriage and relationships. When I hit 30, I was a father for just over a year. In addition to not being able to understand the significance of that role, no one wanted to hear about fatherhood and parenting from a new father. In fact, new parents should be banned for sharing their opinions for at least 5-10 years.

At 40, I have credibility. I have a good vast array of life experiences against which I can measure the adventures of my youth. I have measured my cultural experiences against the world for 20 years since leaving France. I have been married for 16 years, a father for 11 years (and a father of five for 6!). I have something to say, things to share and I cannot be dismissed because of my youth and inexperience!

At 40, I am ready to make my mark- whatever that mark might be. I am going to make turning 40 mean something. I am going to not let it pass by like any other year. It just seems too perfect not to make a new beginning- the start of using the last 40 years of lessons and experiences to my advantage. I feel that the first part of my life has been dealt to me. The second half- if I am so lucky to live a full second half- I want more say on how I play my hand.

Dr. Layne Longfellow once said that the mid-life transition doesn't have to be a crisis. But he added there are some important questions to ask. It doesn't matter as much how you answer them as it matters that you ask them.

My question to myself is this: "Now that you're forty, what are you going to do about it?"

My answer, whether it's important to anybody else or not, is this: "Watch!"

Travel Day

Nowadays, "Travel Day" usually means a trip to the airport. But for me and mine, Travel Day means a drive across Nevada. It is time for our annual Easter trip to Carson City and to Nan's- my wife's grandmother.

I actually enjoy the drive. I have spent my entire life somewhere along I-80, or somewhere close to it. California, Nevada and Utah. In fact, It's hard to imagine life where I wasn't near I-80 or it not being a part of my life.

The stretch of I-80 that runs through Nevada, I know real well. I have traveled between Utah and California many, many times. As a child, as a single adult, and now as the head of a family. It's as interesting as any drive I could imagine and I always enjoy it.

Most people would only see miles of sage brush and an occasional town fly by. I know every stretch of that road and the drive is like seeing old friends again. Some sights are just nice to see, some hold memories- places we broke down, towns where we stopped and had lunch, animals we have seen, or places where family members threw up. It's all good, some better than others.

I am looking forward to the trip and revisiting all these places, all those memories, and wondering if any new ones await today. I'm really hoping they're animal sightings!

The Irony of Attitude

This last winter during the Olympics, there were two instances where attitude stood in the way of winning Gold, one was praised, the other was vilified. What was the difference?

In one event, an event I even commented on in a previous blog entry, Kelly Clark was on course for a gold medal in the Women's Half Pipe, the announcer even commented she had won the Gold and then she went for one more trick, one more "air". She didn't land it cleanly, her butt hit the snow and the gold was gone. Forget the fact that she was clearly the best, she was clearly getting the most air, and could clearly even challenge the men; she lost the gold to an inferior competitor. The announcers felt bad for her but praised her for "going all out". "She had done enough to win the gold, but just had to put one more punch to seal the deal."

In the Board Cross event, Lindsey Jacobellis tried doing an air move on the last bump, lost control and fell. She was clearly in the lead, clearly the best, clearly the winner, yet the fall allowed the second place woman to slip by and edge her out at the finish line. The sports world chewed her up on side and down the other for "hot dogging". "How could she have been so foolish and so willing to give up the gold?"

What was the difference? In my opinion not much, except one thing. In the first case, gold was not assured, it was assumed. Half Pipe is still a judged event. To hold back thinking you have won could, in and of itself, cost you a gold metal. You are in the process of analyzing your next move, not points. You have to go all out- win or loose because you don't really know if you are winning or loosing.

In the second event- the board cross is a race. The first one across the line wins, period. If you're in front- you win. If you're in front and let someone pass you- you loose. Lindsey had already done enough to win. To simply finish first was not a let down, but an expectation.

Bottom line- I like both these girls' style, I love their attitude! They were willing to just do their thing. A nice board grab before the last slope to the finish line would have been cool, and to land that last air would have been awesome. Neither one worked out and neither woman is identified as 2006 Gold Medalists. Regardless, they both had great memorable events and I enjoyed them thoroughly.

It was just a great lesson that sometimes attitude gets in the way of winning a battle here and there- sometimes even big battles. But having a winning attitude is what puts you in position of being part of the battle! In the long run, it IS what matters and in the long run it IS what defines the true winners.

The Church of Baseball

I may not be one of those nuts who can spew endless streams of stats and "little known facts: about the game, but I love baseball. There are many reasons why, and I am sure I'll spend time spewing about each one of them, but not this morning.

I don't have cable, satellite or even high speed internet- so I don't get to watch but a couple of games a year. But I "watch" the games on "Gameday", a silly presentation of stats basically. It goes from pitch to pitch and sometimes has long gaps between events. It's all done over the modem line so there are some times when nothing happens at all- and you find out you lost your connection. But I watch. I am fascinated. Sometimes, I am obsessed.

There 162 games in a season. Plenty of time to recover from losses, move on from big victories, and/or recover form injuries. No team goes completely winless. Any game there is a chance of winning- a chance for hope to be real. A chance to cheer and feel happy. With in any game, someone did well at some point. No one goes hitless. No team goes scoreless...for too many games in a row anyway.

I return again and again for six months to see who won, who did well, and who stepped up to a challenge. I live the game in my mind- turning the written word into images in my mind. I imagine many of the faces, the emotions, and the thoughts. Always looking and dreaming of the stories between the stat lines.

I don't do a lot of church these days. I think of God a lot and I like to read his stat book. I imagine the stories between the lines. What were those stories really like? What s the underlying lesson in each verse? What were the characters really thinking? A well done movie is nice, but it never equals my own imagination.

I miss going to church sometimes. I miss having conversations about church things. But church has failed me, at least in the building sense. I'll stick to my scriptures and my prayers for now. And for the next six months, I'll be also studying and learning from the stream of stats playing themselves out through my 56K stadium.

That should be enough religion for now. And for now, as Annie of Bull Durham would say, the only church that serves day in and day out is, the Church of Baseball.