Friday, July 31, 2009

The Tale of One Minivan

A couple of weeks ago, I received an "Official Notice". A certain car dealership contacted me because, due to their records, I owned a highly sought after late model vehicle in high demand: Our family's 2002 Ford Windstar Minivan. I had never done business with this dealership and had no intention of ending that streak so I threw the notice away without another thought.

Last week, I got another "Official Notice" from the same dealership. I figured it was a second notice of the first lie and attempt to get me to buy one of their new cars, but I opened it anyway. Desperate sale pitches amuse me.

To my surprise, the dealership wanted me to know that "according to their records" I owned an aging 2002 Ford Windstar that most likely qualified for the Cash for Clunkers Government program.

Within two weeks, our van transformed from a high-in-demand vehicle to a clunker.

Now the car is still the same vehicle; it's a 7 year old minivan.

What did change was the available angle to be used by the slimy car dealerships to coerce the desperate, the easily-swayed, or the just plain stupid to buy a car. It's no wonder that the car business is in trouble. They don't even try to hide their lies and/or manipulation of information and circumstances. They don't care who you are, just come and buy the car- "no matter how much you owe!"

Am I amazed that yesterday on our mountain drive I heard endless commercials of "Cash for Clunkers" offers only to learn in the evening news that the program had went broke in less than a week? No.

Government money made available to the car dealerships is like throwing slop in front of hogs- only more disgusting to watch. If they throw another two billion, watch how fast they can eat that up!

In a completely unrelated topic, I am sure putting money in front of the medical vultures will work out much better.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Two for the Price of One

Watching a movie on Info-mercial plagued ION TV, my kids and I saw several devices that almost always end with:

"Not just one but for a limited time, we'll send you a second for free!"

First we saw the Slap Chopper: The nifty little chopper of all things food related. One of the kids even said "Cool!"

Next, the Neckline Slimmer: Not quite so cool and the photos not so convincing. We remained quiet watching the sales pitch.

Finally one of my bright children responded "Instead of giving away a second, they should just give one of each." He thought further. "Maybe they can combine them... like... the NECKLINE CHOP! Slim the neck WHILE you make dinner!"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Magic Words

"If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death."-- Eddie Izzard, Dress To Kill

Monday, July 27, 2009

Oatmeal South of the Border

Looking at the container of oatmeal, I noticed that the Spanish version of the instructions seemed to be substantially longer in explanation.

There are several conclusions one may make, but now I wonder, not able to read Spanish, if I am being left out on something.

It's like High School all over again!